How often should you visit the grave of your loved ones?

Scripture:
Do our loved ones know when we're visiting their gravesite? Do they hear us when we speak to them?
When you post, you agree to the terms and conditions of our comments policy.
If you have a Bible question for Pastor Doug Batchelor or the Amazing Facts Bible answer team, please submit it by clicking here. Due to staff size, we are unable to answer Bible questions posted in the comments.
To help maintain a Christian environment, we closely moderate all comments.

  1. Please be patient. We strive to approve comments the day they are made, but please allow at least 24 hours for your comment to appear. Comments made on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday may not be approved until the following Monday.

  2. Comments that include name-calling, profanity, harassment, ridicule, etc. will be automatically deleted and the invitation to participate revoked.

  3. Comments containing URLs outside the family of Amazing Facts websites will not be approved.

  4. Comments containing telephone numbers or email addresses will not be approved.

  5. Comments off topic may be deleted.

  6. Please do not comment in languages other than English.

Please note: Approved comments do not constitute an endorsement by the ministry of Amazing Facts or by Pastor Doug Batchelor. This website allows dissenting comments and beliefs, but our comment sections are not a forum for ongoing debate.

Leave a Comment Below

Just leave your name and comment below. No need to create an account. All comments are moderated. Spam comments will not be approved.

8 Comments
Avatar Placeholder
Anonymous
It's just remembering them and talking is often expressing your heart. If you really believe that you are communicating with deceased loved ones then that is problematic, but overall this really isn't that challenging of a question for Christians. If you don't want to visit the gravesites of loved ones then don't. If you do then by all means do so.
Avatar Placeholder
livenvanlivenlynott
Is it wrong to visit grave of loved ones to clean it and put flowers?
Hide Replies 1
Avatar Placeholder
AFacts_Editor
Thank you for your question, Liven. We just want you to know that if you'd like to get an answer directly from the team at Amazing Facts, please fill out this form here: https://www.amazingfacts.org/about-us/bible-questions. God bless you!
Avatar Placeholder
j_wilkerson
I can't bring myself to visit my Grandmother's grave, She was my best friend, And I miss her dearly. To me, Visiting her grave will signify that she is really gone. And I can't face that. She still lives on in alot of my daily routine. Plus seeing her in the ground isn't a image I want to remember. I burried her myself with a shovel at the funeral. Because I didn't want her to haunt the Tractor operator (lol), But just can't go back to her grave again. Am I wrong for that ??
Hide Replies 1
Avatar Placeholder
AFacts_Editor
Thank you for your comment, and we’re sorry to hear you’re struggling. We’ll pass your note onto our prayer team. We don't seem to have an online resource that deals with this specific question—so we invite you to contact our Bible answer team here: https://www.amazingfacts.org/about-us/bible-questions. We'll leave your comment up for other guests to address. God bless you!
Avatar Placeholder
Anonymous
Keep your loved one's memory in your heart. They are not in the grave. Only bones of a life since gone. Live your life according to God's word, and you shall be blessed. If you and your loved one is born again, this separation is only temporary. So live life as a God leads you to and be blessed.
Avatar Placeholder
Anonymous
I held a speech to a loved one when I visited his grave. I didn't mean to communicate with the dead really, should I've done that?
Hide Replies 1
Avatar Placeholder
AFacts_Editor
Thank you for your question, Philip! If you'd like to get an answer directly from the team at Amazing Facts, please fill out this form here: https://www.amazingfacts.org/about-us/bible-questions. God bless you!
Caller: Basically my question I’m inquiring about regards people that are deceased and you bury them – what the Bible has to say about how many times you should visit them and if you move or something, whether you should bear the cost to move them and, so forth, to a different gravesite.

Pastor Doug: Good question. I don’t remember ever having that question, so I’ll take a stab at it.

Caller: Ok.

Pastor Doug: From my knowledge of the Bible, and I’ve read the Bible many times but I don’t claim to have it memorized, there’s nothing in the Bible that requires us to visit the resting place of loved ones.Now Jesus talks about, and He ridicules those who embellished the tombs of the prophets, which were beautiful and whitewashed on the outside, but full of dead men’s bones. I mean, Jesus told it as it is.

There’s nothing wrong with somebody wanting to go to the cemetery out of respect and to update a Flag at the grave of a veteran who gave his life or to visit a family member and to just bask in the memories. It’s maybe a thing to do to respect their memory. They obviously are not communicating with you. The Bible is clear the dead don’t communicate with the living. And I don’t believe that there’s anything in the Bible that would require us to relocate their remains. I don’t see any example of that in the Bible except, when Saul and Jonathan were burnt, they finally did move their bodies and they buried them. But uh…

Co-Host: …and Joseph was taken…

Pastor Doug: …that’s right, that’s right – good point! Joseph’s body was – he never was buried though. They kept him embalmed, then they brought him from Egypt back to the Promised Land and buried him there. Good point. So, there’s no requirement to move the remains if you move.

Caller: And, as far as like, you know, upgrading the headstone and so forth – and I know you know it could get pretty expensive – like basically, it’s probably better to put your money to better use through other ways.

Pastor Doug: Well out of respect for loved ones, it is good to have a legible headstone that will last a few generations. We just bought a headstone for my father, who passed away about a year ago. It took a long time to get the family to agree on what to put there.

Caller: Sure.

Pastor Doug: But, even though my dad was a multi-millionaire, we bought a comparatively modest headstone because we wanted it to represent the kind of life he lived.

Caller: Basically in the Bible, they more or less buried people and not cremated them right?

Pastor Doug: Typically, with one or two exceptions, everybody was buried in the Bible. A couple of individuals were embalmed as mummies were – that was Jacob and Joseph but the remainders of them were buried – some in the ground, and some in a tomb, like Jesus. One or two were cremated – and that’s pretty rare. Jonathan was cremated and Saul.

Caller: So in the Bible it was probably customary where they came to the gravesite after someone was buried after a few days or something?

Pastor Doug: You know, I don’t find an example in the Bible, and I could be wrong, where they went to the tombs to pay their respects. I’m sure they did, but I can’t think of a story in the Bible that articulates that.

Caller: Other than Mary going to Jesus’ tomb?

Pastor Doug: Yeah but that wasn’t really to pay respects. They were going to finish embalming Him.

Caller: Ok.

Pastor Doug: They had not finished. The Sabbath began before they could complete the embalming process, and they came with their spices.

Co-Host: Yes.

Caller: Ok. Basically, it’s more or less just for respect.

Pastor Doug: Yes. There’s nothing wrong with that – especially Memorial/Veterans’ Day – you want to honor the memory. Ok?

Caller: Ok great. Thanks for your time.

Pastor Doug: Hope that helps a little bit Mike. God bless.

Amazing Facts’ Resource Number: 800-835-6747

Share a Prayer Request
 | 
Ask a Bible Question

Name:

Email:

Prayer Request:


Share a Prayer Request
Name:

Email:

Bible Question:


Ask a Bible Question